The Truth is.....

I can honestly say I'm known around the world for my portrayal of Wonder Woman, a tough woman who kicks major butt and is one tough cookie all around. The truth is, she's got her days where the world is just too much, at least I do. I try to act tough and a lot of the time I even pull it off, but inside, I have a wound that runs so deep, I wonder if it ever will heal.

I was married once, and thought I would be forever. Apparently, forever isn't that long, more like just over a decade really. He promised to love me forever, not just on our wedding day, but repeatedly throughout our union. He lied. How could someone do that? promise something so inportant and do so throughout such a long span of time and not mean it?

I've been divorced for 2 1/2 years now. I'm suppose to be able to walk away and not feel anything for him anymore. I'm suppose to 'move on' and not be bitter or angry. But it is so hard to do. I'm cursed with a good memory. I remember the very first day I ever saw him. Little things that many would probably forget, but not me.

I've tried to forgive and forget, even when he got engaged a brief 4 months after the divorce, when he got married 8 months after the divorce (he lied about that length of time as well, it was sooner than I thought). I tried to be happy for him and his new wife when they announced her pregnancy, even got the new baby a gift. To no avail.

I'm forced to keep in contact with him weekly, since we share custody of my son and that makes it increasingly hard to simply move on. It still hurts. I still cry. I still wonder if my heart is ever capable of mending or loving someone else. When does the pain go away? When does the broken heart mend? I wish I knew, but the truth is, I don't.