Candle-lit Dinner for One

Today was all in all a good day, I still have a great sense of almost euphoria about me. I slept in, did some internetting (oh, now there's a suprise, lol) had a nice hot bath and then went out to the meet-up group. I almost didn't go, then when I got there, I almost chickened out. But I forced myself to go over and introduce myself. The group was me and 5 others, and it was SUCH a blast! We all not only played games, but just chatted and got to know one another. Everyone is so nice and friendly, all of us had been in Clarksville for less than 3 years and had relatively new 'relationship scars' to deal with. It was very refreshing to meet such a wonderful group. We are planning on meeting again next week and then every week after that, but different venues to change it up a bit.

Adter the group, I ran to walmart to get a few things...toilet paper, batteries and dinner. I was having such a wonderful day that I wondered around Walmart for a while before I remembered why I had actually went, lol. I mistakenly got my frozen dinners first and then meandered over to the card section where I teeheed and giggled out loud through a few greeting cards. Of course, my arm was numb from holding the frozen....now defrosting...entrees, so with that I went on collecting my other stuff.

I got home and made myself clean the house so I would have a few clean spaces to shoot in tomorrow. I must say, the place doesn't look half bad now :) So after that (ok, I still have to load the dish washer in the morning) I zapped my dinner. The menu was a yummy Italian specialty of the house, chicken and brocoli fetticini alfredo, cheese manicotti in marinera sauce, sangria flavored beer (hey it sounded fancy, lol) and Italian Cream cake for dessert.

After dinner, I took the dogs out for a final trot and zoomed through a few emails. Now it's hitting near 1 am, so I am gonna hit the hay and rest up for tomorrow. Night all!

Shoot!

Even though it's past 1 am, so it's technically the 27th, I haven't gone to bed yet, so I will count this as the 26th, lol. Tomorrow is a busy day for me. I have a jam packed schedule. I have lots of ideas flowing for material I could shoot, edit and update that I have the resources for. Yay! I've been tracking down this and that for props and so forth all night. So tomorrow will be a prep and shoot, possibly edit and finally update!

I also have the first meeting with the new board games group that I signed up with. We're meeting at Starbucks and playing games :) Sounds fun and gives me a chance to mingle, network and plain get out of the house with little money involved. That's at 2pm, so I can do some final prep work in the morning, such as lay out costumes, collect and organize props and do my make-up and hair, then take a break, play games and grab a bite. After the games, I'll come home and dive into my work :)

Sunday, if all goes well, I'll be able to shoot even more stuff, so I can generate some moolah and wrap up February with a bang!

of course, to avoid the bags under my eyes that cameras pick up all to well, I have to get a decent amount of sleep, so with that thought, night all!

My Muse is On Break...

Okay, here I sit, telling myself I have to keep up with this blog as promised. I already missed a day and I haven't had the blog for a complete week yet! I'm still awaiting new specs so I can actually see what I'm typing. Heaven knows how many errors I have in these simple things! I told my co-workers today that I just need a braile register, lol I honestly will have tears of joy when they call and say "Your glasses came in"

For now, I will have to continue typing with my nose and squinting like a mole. I am sure THAT will attract men, LOL NOT! Hey, at least I won't base everything on what they look like, since I can't see them anyway :)

Anyhoo, I have to get off the computer for tonight. Tomorrow is Friday woohoo!! I'm so glad the weekend is upon me. Well, kind of, since I know it's going to be a somewhat hectic one, but at least I won't have to punch a time clock or operate on anyone else's schedule.

Night all!

Surrender of the Cape?

For several years now, I have been taking on the roles of various superheroines and I love it. It's not only a pleasure to become such characters, but it's also been a source of income for me. I take it seriously and look forward to each and every shoot. My 'partner in crime' has been a very good friend of mine for over a decade, which for me, is a hard thing, maintaining such a good friendship for so long. I move around a lot, people come and go in and out of my life, but through the years, this friendship has survived. Not only is it a friendship, but it has also become a business partnership, me doing the acting and my friend doing the shooting as well as editing.

This time, however, we've had somewhat of a fallout. I don't know exactly why it's happened, but it has. This fallout, whatever the reason, has begun to cost me dearly professionally. Video has not been edited and clients of mine are still awaiting their customs after 2 months or more. What makes it worse is that I can't take over and do the editing myself because I lack the skills and in some cases the actual video footage. If I can't get everything resolved soon, I will be forced to refund the money to these clients and face the fact that I will lose them as clients in the future. Since my reputation relies heavily on 'word of mouth' advertising, I'm basically screwed.

Finacial issues aside, this person was my friend, I trusted them and now I'm beginning to regret it. I truly feel a bit betrayed and let down. How does one repair such a thing? Trust is a very fragile thing at times, once it's broken it is near impossible to restore to it's former strength. I'm at a loss. Will I have to cut my losses and move on without this person? Will I be forced to turn in my cape for good? This is one battle even Wonder Woman may not win.

Just Call Me Wheatie

I feel so completely shredded! I swear a Mack truck drove through my bedroom last night while I was sleeping and just totally bulldozed me! I woke up feeling like the (barely)- living dead and I didn't look much better. Naturally, I'm out of anything Dimetapp related except for my son's Triaminuc cough strips (gag) and cheap benedryl (which usn't helping). I'm out of kleenex and have resorted to using toilet paper to the point where I think I should just loop some around my neck like a lei due to my constent need for it Yuckaroo...to say the least. I have my son this week, oh how fun for him to have his own personal zombie, lol. I worked today...thank goodness I run the drive-thru order register so I can avoid sniffling at the customers ir adding that extra special something to their food. Now I think I'm going to take my sheep and hit the hay with a most welcomed thud. Night all!

The Truth is.....

I can honestly say I'm known around the world for my portrayal of Wonder Woman, a tough woman who kicks major butt and is one tough cookie all around. The truth is, she's got her days where the world is just too much, at least I do. I try to act tough and a lot of the time I even pull it off, but inside, I have a wound that runs so deep, I wonder if it ever will heal.

I was married once, and thought I would be forever. Apparently, forever isn't that long, more like just over a decade really. He promised to love me forever, not just on our wedding day, but repeatedly throughout our union. He lied. How could someone do that? promise something so inportant and do so throughout such a long span of time and not mean it?

I've been divorced for 2 1/2 years now. I'm suppose to be able to walk away and not feel anything for him anymore. I'm suppose to 'move on' and not be bitter or angry. But it is so hard to do. I'm cursed with a good memory. I remember the very first day I ever saw him. Little things that many would probably forget, but not me.

I've tried to forgive and forget, even when he got engaged a brief 4 months after the divorce, when he got married 8 months after the divorce (he lied about that length of time as well, it was sooner than I thought). I tried to be happy for him and his new wife when they announced her pregnancy, even got the new baby a gift. To no avail.

I'm forced to keep in contact with him weekly, since we share custody of my son and that makes it increasingly hard to simply move on. It still hurts. I still cry. I still wonder if my heart is ever capable of mending or loving someone else. When does the pain go away? When does the broken heart mend? I wish I knew, but the truth is, I don't.

A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way

A few days ago, I had a birthday. Not putting a lot of fore-thought into it, I hadn't requested off work, so naturally, it was my longest scheduled day of work that week. I mentioned that my ex had totally forgotten that it was my birthday (was supposed to have dropped my son off the night before since my birthday is considered a 'holiday' by the parenting plan). One of the girls there said if she'd known beforehand, she would have made me cupcakes. I was like, yeah, ok and kind of forgot about it. Do you know, she met me at the door the next morning, out of uniform because she didn't even work that day, and gave me a plate of cupcakes decorated by hand and everything! It made my day! Ut was so sweet of her (no pun intended) do do that!
Not to mention, a lot of people on my Facebook page had wished me Happy Birthday, as well as in my email loop I'm in. Just when you think nobody cares, all this love comes out from others. People amaze me sometimes, yk?

So Much to Do, So Little Time

Well, it's 7 o'clock on a Friday night and I'm getting ready for an interesting evening. No, not a date, not even a 'girl's night out', but a night with my parents and my brother. They are coming up for a visit, probably will be here in a few hours. They'll spend the night and spend tomorrow here as well. My parents ive in Florida right now, so it's not like they're just coming from the next town over. Even though I've got laundry to throw in the washer and beds to make and floor to be swept, it'll still be a good evening. See, my family's a little unusual, we actually love each other's company, lol. My son is here with me as well, so this weekend will be filled with long chats, hot coffee, movies and boardgames. Just the way a weekend with the family should be (and not just because they're coming from out of state)

There will be lots to catch up on and we'll probably talk for hours until we just can't stay awake anymore. They haven't met my new pug, Roxie so she'll happily yap her way into the conversation as well :) My boyfriend moved out last month, so the place it a lot more bare...well, um...spacious than it was last time too.

Yikes, time is slipping by when there's so much to do! I better get off line and back to cleaning!

The Plan

A friend of mine started a blog like this, where she does something with it every day. It began with the new year and she's doing pretty good at it. I was intrigued by the thought of having a public blog and decided to begin one myself. I began today, February 18th 2010. Why? because at 10:42 this morning, I turned 39 years old. It's the homestretch into being officially over the hill. Since I live alone every other week, with no one to really talk to aside from my two dogs, I thought why not blog a little something every day? My main goal to to simply put all those random thoughts and feelings on 'paper'. Basically my life in review. I'm new at this blogspot, thing so I'm still friguring out the kinks. Right now, for some reason, I can't start a new paragraph....weird. Roxie, my pug, had my eyeglasses for breakfast a few days ago so I'm typing this out basically with my nose. My keys are also missing the letters, so it's also typed by memory of where all the letters are. Should make for a unique (and somewhat confusing) read. I titled this blog Underneath the Cape since I portray superheroines for a side job. I know alot of people out there would be curious to know what's under my cape (in a matter of speaking, lol) It is my hope that through this year-long reflection on my life, I can learn something about life and how to live it to it's fullest. As someone once said "You won't know where you're going until you know where you've been" So there you have it, my plan and goal for this year....to capture little excerpts of myself on screen and use it to grow positively from the experience. And I have invited you along for the ride. See you tomorrow then!