Unknown

So today I started filling out my college application.....pause for effect, lol. I know, I know, I already went to college, about a million years ago. But I only went long enough to get my AA and after putting the educational priorities on the back burner for over a decade, I've decided that I should put it up towards the front again. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get out of the fast food industry and start making enough money to actually put myself above poverty level instead of below it.

The application was fairly simple....name, address, former schools....all the usual. Then I got to a suuprisingly awkward question....emergency contact. It had always been a fairly simple question, one of the easiest one actually. My parents, then it was my husband, and then after my seperation and divorce, it was my brother. Now.....well, I don't have anyone really. My parents live 3 states away, my ex-husband wouldn't care, in fact, he'd probably laugh and hang up, lol. My brother now lives a good 2 hours away and is busy with his new wife and family. So, that leaves pretty much just me. I could put down and ex boyfriend or the guy I'm dating now, but seriously, what for? Hopefully it's not a deal-breaker to get admitted or anything. I can always be sly and put down my alternate cell phone number with 'Diana' which is what I go by at work, listed as my best friend of 39 years, lol. I don't think they'd ever have reason to use it anyway, so really, what's the harm?

The thing is though, I'D know. It's just one more dig I have to take in....the fact that I am alone and probably always will be. That's what the hard part is. Oh well....there's more to life than just being able to fill in a stupid line on an application, although it's a nice thought.

Being unknown is a fear of mine. Not really along the same lines as my fear of spiders or closed in spaces, but it's up there. The idea of being known.....having someone who knows you inside and out and loves you anyway....that's something very special, and rare. If you are ever lucky enough to be known, make the most of it and hold on to it tightly because you will miss it when it goes away.