Just Another Friday Night

Well, It's Friday night again. Just after 7 pm. I've been on my diet and execerise program for, what? 2 or 3 weeks now? This weekend was suppose to be my let it all go weekend, rewarded with a night out. Well, a good old fashioned dumping ain't gonna ruin THAT! Here I sit, at my favorite 'after I drop my son off' spot, with no one but me, myself and I piggybacking off of a wi-fi signal and crowded around a stiff margarita. I should be ok calorie-wise, with yesterday ending at under 1300 and today before El Bracero's at just over 500. Granted, I'll be the only one privy to my British accent, but oh well, that's the norm anyway. I'm sure my dogs won't think twice about it when I get home, lol. The girls at work said I had a 'bedroom voice' this week on the drive thru speaker, lol must have been my mood. Can't say it did much good though, as I didn't get any offers or numbers.



I won't have a picture with this blog since I don't take my Vaio out. I'm always on the Toshiba when I'm out and since my internet/cell service is off, piggybacking wi-fi is all I have for now. Yep, September has been one bang up month for me. Dumped, check bounced because my sister and brother screwed me on the fundraiser, electric will go off on Monday, but hey, my rent will get paid :) So I guess that's something. Actually this entire year has been cause for seriously tracking down a 'universal remore' like on that movie "Click", because it's ALL pretty much sucked, this YEAR has pretty much sucked and once I hit 2011 I will be SO happy! This year has been nothing but a pain in my ASS and I can not WAIT to put it behind me.



I have been throgh ENOUGH for the last few years. I mean serioulsy WTH is wrong with me? What did I do to derserve all this crap that's been shoved my way? No matter what I do, I end up getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop and I'm SICK of it! Sometimes I feel like suck a black sheep. My brother is great my sister is great, both have a lot of friends and are happily married with kids. They invite each other to cruises together and vacations, nights out on the town and everything. Did they ever ask me? Nope! For years I was married to a jerk who would sooner die than do anything with me or God forbid, my family. I wasted over a decade of my life with him, I gave up friends, opportunity, fun, all because I wanted to makle him happy. Where'd it get me? NO WHERE!



I'm now a 39 year old divorcee' who lives below friggen poverty level and is at the mercy of her parents to simply keep a roof over her head. I have no close friends, no one in my life who really gives a crap aside from my 2 dogs and my son (every other week). I'm trapped in a town with a crappy employment rate, stupid rules that screw me at every turn and no hint of a way out until my son graduates from high school 4 years from now. And I'm trying to slim down for what? That chance that at 44 I'll be able to leave and find some place that I can exist happily for the next howevere long, along and waiting to kick the bucket? How fun for me.



Meanwhile I get to hear how mom goes clear to Savannah to help my sister with her new baby for days at a time when 20 minutes was way to far for her to help ME with my son when he was born ( and I had a husband that told me that my child was ugly and how he 'didn't want to give him up for adoption but would..." Seriously?! My sister has more stuff for the new baby than she'll ever need, 3 babyshowers and all the support in the world. My brother and sister both got to go racing with my dad (somnething I would have LOVED to do, but alas, I was never in on that one either.) I just filled like the black sheep. I don't even know what I'm saying, just know that the place is closing down and I have to post and dash.

Night all! Catcha tomorrow, I plan on goinbg to Borders to use theur signal then :)