WOW, what a Ride!

            For some reason...maybe it's the country music that's playing right now...but I'm feeling a bit nostalgic, so come on with me as I bounce through Memory Lane for a minute. It's no secret that I hate Clarksville, it's just not the best place for a creative type for me to be in. I'm in the ever popular circle of Facebook, that lovely friends community that let's you connect with past loves, past friends and people you went to high school with and even thpugh they wouldn't have given you the time of day in high school, they want to be your friend now on Facebook, lol.

            I'm sure you've heard the phrase "The grass is always greener on the other side" and that may seem to be true, unless we examine the fine print of others' lives as well as our own. Sure, I've been through some really tough times...divorce, betrayal, loss and the like, and those times REALLY sucked! Some still hurt. But if I truly examine my life, it's been full of wonderful and amazing moments and even though the bad stuff stands out and has scarred me, I can't help but look at the fact that I have a pretty great life!

           Just to name a few.......
I have moved over 30 times in my life (andf no, not because of the military). Just think of all the places I've experienced and people I've met that a lot of people couldn't even dream of!

I was a foreign exchange student in Denmark.....how many people do you know who can say THAT? How many people do you know that can even say they know where Denmark IS, much less can say they've been there!

I've performed on stage in 4 states, including a world preimere musical and the famed "Cats"! The tally is well over 25 musicals and plays (most of which I had the lead or at least a solo song on)!

I've been a surrogate mother, which means I literally had someone elses baby...how many people do you know can say THAT? It was an amazing experience and I'm glad I had it!

I have the most wonderful son....very caring and sympathetic, smart, good looking and I can't wait to see what he does with his life!

I am known in at least a dozen countries as Wonder Woman and have fans all over the world.

I am now married to an amazing man whoi loves me so much that he';s put his total faith into me as a wedding photographer. He's my true kindred spirit and we'll be together for as long as both of us or on this earth :)

I've fed and pet a dolphin and a giraffe! My favorite two animals in the world...aside from my boxer, Apoolo and my pug, Puggles, of course!

I have accomplished more than a lot of people even dream of and am proud of myself. I'm honest, creative, talented, sincere and honest. I'm not a hypocrite like an unfortunate number of past acquaintances and loves are. I know exactly who I am and will never claim to be something else, even though I compromise on things as any mother does.

I challenge you to find anyone else who has done all that I have and am willing to do so much more! I'm not even half ways done. All who have betrayed me and screwed me in some way in the past (they should know who they are, lol) karma is one mean thing and it WILL come around! I had the pleasure of being there when it's hit some who have crossed me and I assure you, it makes for a REALLY great day!

Some may think I'm not that great or that I've comptomised and given in on way too much. To them, I say that you can't live the life I have without it, I'm happy and that's the main goal in all this :) Sure there's more I'd liked to have done, but I'm not done yet, who's to say I won't accomplish a lot of other amazing things before I go? My life isn't perfect, but who's is? My life is just fine, thank you very much! And anyone would be hapoy to have a life such as mine :)

True BFF's

Well, April 28th 2012 I married my best friend! The wedding planning was long but Bill & I planned everything right down to the last detail, together! He's so incredibly organized, it's amazing! He likes lists and I do too, so that part worked very well. We decided to have a small wedding, just close friends and family and a few guys from work. We held it in our back yard which has a beautiful gazebo covered with whisteria.

We had a cake that was set on a revolving Scrabble board, which is one of things that we always do together. It was bordered with bling ribbon and, of course, Scrabble tiles! It was a magical day to say the least and apart from the problems with the photographer, it was a truly magical day. I loved my dress and my groom and our kids look wonderful. We did the sand ceremony, which I didn't do in my first marriage. Thought I'd try something different and more meaningful. So far, it's been fantastic and I hope and pray that we will be truly best friends forever!

FINALLY a Decent Proposal!

I had been dating this wonderful man, Bill, for almost a year. He had moved in, treated me wonderfully and even watched which me the entire series of one of my absolute favorite shows, Alias. We got off to a bumpy start, breaking up and getting back together a few times, but that was just because we were both trying to figure out whether we wanted to be single or not. We tried just being friends who played Scrabble, but then we just decided that we couldn't live without each other.

It was an early evening in June, I had just gotten back from taking my son to his dad's and we were starting our usual Friday night xbox and margaritas when Bill went into the computer and put on some music. He started playing "Build me up, Buttercup". My first thought was "Oh, cool, the proposal song that Danny sang to Sydney in the pilot of 'Alias'". The next thing I know, Bill comes out with a box and gets down on one knee and proceeds to give me the most heart-fely, sincere wonderful wedding proposal in history!

I was blown away! I mean, really, I'm very hard to surprise and I had noticed my jewelry box had been moved, so I had suspected something, but for him to play a song that actually was special and to actually get down on bended knee was just so over-whelming! I knelt down with him and said an obvious yes. After we hugged and kissed he said to pack a bag, he had a surprise. We hit the road and went to Metropolis, Indiana. Naturally, we stopped to get a Wonder Woman tee shirt :) We went to Harrah's Casino and got a fabulous hotel room. Despite my getting sick...I do that when I'm super over-whelmed, lol.....we had an awesome time. The entire night I couldn't decide which to stare at most....my 1 carat plus marquis engagment ring or my brand new fiance'.

For the first time in a LONG time, I actually felt loved, valued and trusted. Here was a guy that was more than willing to take me as I was.....my eccentric love of Wonder Woman, my strong will to rescue dogs, my sensitive nature and more importantly, my son. There were a few times when my chronic depression got the best of me and sent me in such a self-destructive death spiral, but he was there and helped me through it. This man was special, he was the one I had been praying for. And in a few months, it would all become official :)

Enough

Everyone has something that they're really good at, whether it be politics, motherhood, photography or medicine. Mine? I'm a good actress..no, scratch that, a GREAT actress. I pretty good at photography and anything else creative too. But the cruel joke is that I'm stuck with average looks and a spare tire. Not to mention the fact that I'm in an area of the country that makes it almost impossible to get noticed!

I'm newly, an happily, married to a wonderful man who loves me for who I am, but sometimes I just long for the recognition and the feeling that I'm special, that I stand out above most. I'm a performer at heart and I can't for the life of me change that. It's just that the cards seem to be stacked against me. I used to have a much better physique at least, but I was married to a total jerk who wanted me hidden from the rest of the world. Then after I got divorced, I was free, but I was also so broke I couldn't afford to go after anything remotely like my dreams.

I had a few small tastes of it....I have a clips4sale store that allowed me to be creative and act, although extremely cheesy and I would never get recognized there, that's for sure. There are no community theatres near by, so the stage acting is out. I had my love of photography rekindled by an ex-boyfriend, who actually used me as his second shooter for a while and I loved it! But that was yanked away when he could get more 'professional' photographers to help, then he got married so she'll be replacing me completely. The guy who was helping me with my clips store up and decided that he was done with me, so he dropped me as well. It just kills me to know that I would have done anything for these guys, I supported the photographer when he was just starting out, I helped the clips guy through some really rough patches and what happened? I got tossed aside and forgotten. Does true friendship honestly just NOT exist? I mean, I had my doubts for years, but these guys actually changed my mind into thinking that I could actually have a decent friendship, then when I least expexted it, BAM! It was gone and quite frankly I really feel used :(

People just don't give a hoot about how good your heart is unless it's encased within a barbie-doll physique, nice and local and they don't have to put forth any effort unless sex is a perk. I mean really?! Has our society really downgraded to such a level? I think it's pathetic! I would NEVER just drop someone without serious cause and even then I'd let them know why, so they could learn from their mistakes and have a chance to redeem themselves.

Now I'm in my 40's, 20 pounds heavier, and wrinkles have started creeping into my less than stellar face. Maybe I just just vanish, hang up my cape for good and forget about those who have tossed me aside, just live out the next few years as an ugly housewife and deal with it. At least my husband loves me and thinks I'm attractive, as long as I make sure he doesn't get his eyes checked out, I should be fine! LOL I'll never be a photographer or an actress, probably never have any more close friends, but who cares? Who'll even read this? Nobody, probably, lol it's just my personal rant, complaint department, pity party, reality check, whatever. I have one really great best friend, he just happens to be my husband too, and that'll have to be enough.

Hi, my name is Shellene Kent and it's been a year since my last blog! I decided to start up again, after taking a year-long break. I've truly had a whirlwind year and just got so off track that I haven't been able to keep up with my blog. In fact, before I went AWOL, my blog, itself, got rather derailed, lol!
I started this blog to give my friends and fans an extra-special behind-the-scenes look at what happens when I hang up my cape and don my everyday identity. Of course, lots of things started happening and my fingers just couldn't keep up! But I'm back now and I plan to stay!
My clips store is really doing well this year. So well, in fact, that I've been able to hire new faces, dress them in new costumes and film them with a new camera! As always, I remain devoted to my fans and want to keep you all coming back for more. I'm very open to suggestions and scripts that you'd like to see me do and am even planning on exploring new fetishes such as pantyhosed/stocking feet, food and object crush, dangling/shoe play and much more.
Of course, you can always contact me personally with any ideas, thoughts and suggestions you may have. I'm gearing up and cranking out ideas for the upcoming new year, so if you'd like to see anything special, just drop me a line and we'll talk some spandex!

All I Want for Christmas.....

Well, it's been a silent night here at my place, just me and my dogs this year. Since my son is with his father this year for the holidays, my family had their Christmas early. We ventured our way to Florida, along with my boyfriend and his daughter. My mom brought my son and I back since my boyfriend always stays in Florida for 2 weeks. I would have loved to stay as well, but since my son had to fly out to Texas to be with my ex's new family, we had to come back early. It is a tad lonely, but not because it's Christmas, simply because I'm all alone....and sick, yuck! Santa gave me the flu for this Christmas, lucky me.

So...it's just me, my dogs and a strong Holiday mudslide, watching movies. It gives me a chance to write on my sorely neglected blog, lol and reflect. Both of us can truly see what we mean to each other, being apart for over a week, which is the longest we've done so since we met in August.

I've surprised myself. Even though I honestly wanted to be in love, I didn't think I would ever get that chance until he came along. With every passing day, I find myself more and more in love with him. He's not perfect...nobody is, but he comes REALLY close. What surprises me the most is that the 'newness' hasn't worn off yet. I still have that "I can't WAIT to see him again" feeling. Whether it's knowing he's at work or that he's with his family in Florida. When he does come home, I'm ecstatic. He talks to me...not just a few quick things about work or what we want for dinner, but truly talks to me. I've never had that. My ex and I never could just shoot the breeze and that's one thing I deeply missed. Just being with him makes me extremely happy. He listens to me, my son loves him to death, which is huge, and he cares for my well-being.

As we slowly integrate our lives, we are able to communicate very well. We have the same ideas of what a relationship should be and that's refreshing. We're both really big on quality time and will spend hours playing Scrabble or doing things together. I love that! We both have quality time as our love language, which is one of the reasons we get along so well. We can even effectively communicate and discuss things rather than fly off the handle if we disagree on something or if we have a problem with something.

I have finally found a man I can always trust to be there for me and look out for me, to love me and hold me. I am finally very happy and so grateful that we found each other. And to think, it only took 39 years! I really hope everything works out for us and truly believe it will. It's been five months since we've met, so it's still a new relationship, but reflecting back on previous relationships, I've never even come close to what I have with him and I hope that 'newness' excitement never does wear off. If I could have one wish for this Christmas, it would be to be with him :) But I know that isn't possible this year. I just take comfort in the thought that we will have many Christmases to spend together, so what's just this one? We'll have the rest of our lives together, hopefully, and I can't wait!

Unknown

So today I started filling out my college application.....pause for effect, lol. I know, I know, I already went to college, about a million years ago. But I only went long enough to get my AA and after putting the educational priorities on the back burner for over a decade, I've decided that I should put it up towards the front again. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to get out of the fast food industry and start making enough money to actually put myself above poverty level instead of below it.

The application was fairly simple....name, address, former schools....all the usual. Then I got to a suuprisingly awkward question....emergency contact. It had always been a fairly simple question, one of the easiest one actually. My parents, then it was my husband, and then after my seperation and divorce, it was my brother. Now.....well, I don't have anyone really. My parents live 3 states away, my ex-husband wouldn't care, in fact, he'd probably laugh and hang up, lol. My brother now lives a good 2 hours away and is busy with his new wife and family. So, that leaves pretty much just me. I could put down and ex boyfriend or the guy I'm dating now, but seriously, what for? Hopefully it's not a deal-breaker to get admitted or anything. I can always be sly and put down my alternate cell phone number with 'Diana' which is what I go by at work, listed as my best friend of 39 years, lol. I don't think they'd ever have reason to use it anyway, so really, what's the harm?

The thing is though, I'D know. It's just one more dig I have to take in....the fact that I am alone and probably always will be. That's what the hard part is. Oh well....there's more to life than just being able to fill in a stupid line on an application, although it's a nice thought.

Being unknown is a fear of mine. Not really along the same lines as my fear of spiders or closed in spaces, but it's up there. The idea of being known.....having someone who knows you inside and out and loves you anyway....that's something very special, and rare. If you are ever lucky enough to be known, make the most of it and hold on to it tightly because you will miss it when it goes away.